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liquidsoap

When to say enough.... Rant

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Well, heres the scoop.

Over the past few month I have had friends make comments about my fishing ways, abilities, and fishing in general that I really did not appreciate. All they tell me o is your not that good how do you catch so many fish they said I was just really lucky. Mind you these might potentionally be 2 of the worst fisherman I have ever fished with and they go out just as much as I do. But I enjoy being out with friends. Anyway they told me I can be a pretty grumpy person when I fish certain areas, I told them I am here to catch fish and enjoy myself. I will help you if you want it but try to do what I tell you, all they would ever say is that is not going to work and give me a hard time about it. Well they kept not listening so I started getting a bit aggravated. Every 5 minutes, this spot sucks we will never catch anything here. Well inside my head I was thinking this is a great spot, just fish it right and you will catch fish. Mind you this has gone on forever a month..

Well these 2 people are my friends, and they just drove me to the breaking point. I absolutley snapped, I was getting dang sick of the comments they were making. They have been fishing 4-5 times a week for the past 2 months, and I try to help them, they dont listen and say thats stupid it wont work and complain about not catch fish all the time! So I basically told them if you want to catch fish take the advice I give you and use it and dont complain about it, or do not complain about getting skunked, its part of fishing. I appologized for being a A-hole and I believe I became better friends with one of the people because he seen where I was coming from and I seen his view too.

But the other one was different. He kept wanting to argue, how just because I have decent stuff is the reason I catch so many fish. I told him not trying to be mean person, "Give me your pole you can have mine and I gaurentee it wouldnt make a difference you would still just catch as many things as you are and my catch rate will not go down either." He kept saying fishing in general is total luck, "You cant be a good fisherman, there is no skill involved." "The only reason bass pros are good because they have high quality stuff and a boat". I got even more ticked off and I absolutley went crazy on him. I told him that fishing is not luck, if its luck how come your total is always half of mine in fish total. If its luck wouldnt you eventually catch something that is worth to brag about?? I told him fishing was sure part of being at the right place at the right time but fishing is a heck of a lot more then luck. He said prove it, I managed to catch the best fish he has ever seen. Mind you it was a marginal fish in my view but he was pretty shocked on how well a 4-5lb steelhead fought.

What would you have done? How do you know when enough is enough?

Remind you this has been going on for a while now, and it just pushed me over the edge.

I stand by what I said and my actions and do not have a bit of regret.

I fish for personal enjoyment not to be someones baby sitter.

None of these people post anything really worth reading here so thats why I posted it here. :)

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Guest avid

Welcome to the world of fishing son.

This is something you will deal with the rest of your life, and not just in fishing.

People get jealous.

People need to believe they are right.

They can get very aggressive about being challenged.

You have decide which is more important to you.  Doing things your way and contiuing to succeed, letting yourself get angry because the other person won't "admit" that you are right.  Some folks might even get intimidated into poorer performance, just to keep the peace.  It's up to you how you want to handle it.  Just don't expect the other person to change.

If you get to the point were you can't tolerate his immaturity any longer, than limit your contact with him to activities where you get along better.  Maybe then he will see will the light.

It's a tough one kid.  Even at 50 theres no easy answer

Good luck

avid

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Just make him shut up with the amount of fish you catch. If he still talks, just tell him "SCOOOOORRRRREEBOOARD"

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Welcome to the world of fishing son.

This is something you will deal with the rest of your life, and not just in fishing.

People get jealous.

People need to believe they are right.

They can get very aggressive about being challenged.

You have decide which is more important to you.  Doing things your way and contiuing to succeed, letting yourself get angry because the other person won't "admit" that you are right.  Some folks might even get intimidated into poorer performance, just to keep the peace.  It's up to you how you want to handle it.  Just don't expect the other person to change.

If you get to the point were you can't tolerate his immaturity any longer, than limit your contact with him to activities where you get along better.  Maybe then he will see will the light.

It's a tough one kid.  Even at 50 theres no easy answer

Good luck

avid

Good advice ,I would listen to him if I were you.

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I used to "help" my dad by giving him tips to try, and all he would ever do was whine and complain as your friends seem to.  So I got sick of it too.  Instead of trying to explain that you are right, prove it.  Just simply keep catching the fish that you are, and sooner or later they will either ask you for help again, or quit fishing.  My dad has asked me a couple times to help him out, and I refuse due to his ability to rant and rave and his lack of listening.  He is now at the point where he is going out and buying his own books about bass fishing.  You can't get them to listen to reason but you can show them how a sucessful angler uses skills more than luck.  If you pick a spot that looks good to you, tell them why it looks good.  When you find a pattern tell them what it is.  If the pattern consists of a finesse worm presented in a certain way, explain that to them.  Once they get tired of always going home without any fish, or not as many as you, chances are that they will listen.  If not oh well.  Some just arent serious about bass fishing, and you shouldn't force them to be if they aren't.  

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HAHA, thats funny....cant really contest that proof!   ;D

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Great reply avid!

If it were me, I wouldn't fish with them. Life can be complicated, but having a good time fishing doesn't need to be.  

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i agree with RW.  if they are really good friends you might explain your position and give them another chance but it dosent sound like the one friend is a good friend to go fishing with.  its not worth making something that you enjoy stressful.  if you still want to be able to fish with him take a couple of camping trips a year and go catfishing or something with him.  

matt

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Great reply avid!

If it were me, I wouldn't fish with them. Life can be complicated, but having a good time fishing doesn't need to be.  

And the congregation said.......................

AMEN BROTHER ROADWARRIOR!

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I always say If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got

Your catching they are not!

Other wise just pray: Dear God, please put your arms around my shoulders and your hand over my mouth.

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Whos boat are ya'll in?    If I took my friends fishing, and on the norm, was schooling them, I'd tell them to be thankfull that they have the opportunity to catch fish.    

One thing I try not to do, is tell some one to shut up, I always told my daughters,  Can you give Dads ears a rest?   A polite way of saying be quite for a while.

Thoughts about complainers,   Not needed in the boat, I hear enough of that in public and fishing is a time to clear the head and enjoy the opportunities at hand.

Hookem

Matt

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Great reply avid!

If it were me, I wouldn't fish with them. Life can be complicated, but having a good time fishing doesn't need to be.  

Indeed.  Tell them you're there to have fun and forget about the stresses of life.  You don't need them adding more stress.  If they don't get it, then eliminate them from your fishing trips.  

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I had this problem with someone who I used to fish with that was better than me.  I accepted the fact that he was better than me, and when he would give me advice, I would try to follow it, for the most part.  It gradually got to the point that when I would fish with him and I would try something different, he would get upset, and say things like, "That'll never work," and "You can't catch anything with that."  When I would catch a decent fish, it was "I've caught better,"  and "That's nothing."

Needless to say, we don't fish anymore.  ;)

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Sometimes being the bigger man is the hardest thing to do. I have some buddies who have no desire to learn to flip, or fish a jig, or learn to throw swimbaits etc.

You do what you do, and they will follow, or find another way to catch fish. If they are not catching fish, don't keep asking them to go........

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;D I was starting one soon.... Serouisly we tryed it last year and the camera man blowed. :)

Allright thanks for all the comments, but the thing is I have only gotten skunked with them a few times.  Compared to there only catch a few times.  I will listen to avid and road warrior's advice and try not to let it bother me and not fish with them anymore. :)

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Give him an ultimatum:

Either shut up and fish or stay home and take up golf. The less negative talk and the more questions asked and observations made, the more progress. Sometimes it's easy, much of the time it's not - there are no guarentees in fishing, or in any sport for that matter.

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Life is too short to hang out with people that aggravate you. If he doesn't appreciate what you have to bring to the table then why waste your time?

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how about this?  Spend a day going to the spots he wants to go to, fishing the way he wants to, with whatever bait he wants to.  Let him feel like he's making the choices and if he skunks out, he'll understand.  If he catches a fish, maybe slide in a comment about something he could do differently that may help even more.

Sounds more or less like a new fisherman or in some of our cases, a person who doesn't go very often.  Most new fishermen I have encountered say everything sucks if they aren't catching fish every 5 minutes and getting over that phase can really only be done by catching a quality fish and spending time on the water.

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