Restaurant reviews for the new diner on the moon claim the food is okay, but there's no atmosphere.

In my career as a lumberjack, I cut down 57,687 trees.

 

I know because I kept a log. 

Why is watermelon good for you?

 

It gives you vitamin P.

For years the magician would incorporate a trap door into his act. He was just going through a stage...

I asked my dog "What's 2 minus 2?" He said nothing.

Did you hear about the guy who burnt down his house?

He liked the smell of home cooking

After wondering all night where the sun has gone, it finally dawned on me.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says "i think i'm a type - o.

17 minutes ago, detroit1 said:

After wondering all night where the sun has gone, it finally dawned on me.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says "i think i'm a type - o.

 

 

 

I heard a covid joke today. I'd tell you but there's a 99.5% chance you wouldn't get it. 

I have the world's worst thesaurus. Not only is it terrible, it's TERRIBLE!                 sorry....

Communist jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets them.

I can't believe this thread is still alive!

What happens when you play a country music record backwards?

 

You get your wife, dog, and your truck back.

What do you call a dog that does magic tricks? 
 

A Labracadabrador

What do you call a typo on a headstone?

A GRAVE mistake.

Why did the scarecrow win a first place trophy?

He was outstanding in his field. 

Another new restaurant opened up and it's called Karma. There is no menu - you get what you deserve.

Dad, what’s a forklift?

 

Food usually.

New research suggests that TOWELS are the leading cause of dry skin.

Remember, a pun is not really funny until it's full GROAN!

What do you call a bear with no ear?    b.

   I'm  reading a horror novel in Braille right now.

   Something bad is about to happen. I can feel it.

 

jj

In the spirit of thanksgiving.  
 

 

Why did the turkey cross the road?

 

 

 

 

 

Because the chicken had the day off. 
 

 

Why did the turkey cross the road twice?

 

 

 

 

 

To prove he wasn’t a chicken. 

 

Do you why fishes not shaking hands(fins) when they meet each other?

Coz their hands are wet ?