My mother stopped driving on her own when a school bus pulled out of line and hit her. No one was hurt, only dinged her car a little. She was worried that her reaction time was off.

 

My father has a mini stroke in his mid 80’s. The stroke specialist and our family doctor both said that it was time for him to stop driving and go into an assisted living facility. My mother had passed away by then and they didn’t want him living alone. Any way, both MD’s told my sister and I to let them be the “bad guys” and tell him. They didn’t and it all worked out pretty well. He wasn’t happy about it, but I think he understood. 
 

He soon after was diagnosed with dementia which lead to some fairly severe anger issues. Woof, that was a tough time.

I will gladly hand over the keys to my truck any time with conditions:  1.  You do all of my grocery shopping, 2.  You pay the insurance, gas and upkeep and finally 3.  Show up here at least 2 days each week to hook on to my boat and take me wherever I want to go fishing.

A hundred years ago when I was a cop, there was a checkmark box on the Mississippi Motor Vehicle Accident Report that said (something to the effect of) re-exam required to reinstate license. 

My moms 88 and only drives to the pharmacy and stores less than two miles away on residential streets. She   handles it well. My dad , hes passed now, had to stop at 80. He went to park the car at the hospital parking lot and ended up in a town twenty miles away. I looked all over for him. He finally made it home . Never did park it in the parking lot.

On 3/17/2025 at 10:59 PM, Kirtley Howe said:

Take the responsibility yourself and LISTEN if one of tells you your driving skills have deteriorated.  

 

So true. 

1 hour ago, Swamp Girl said:

 

So true. 

all well and good on paper.  but reality?  no way.

 

i cant get people to NOT come to work with a cold or flu.   self-awareness is not a thing.  hahah.

3 minutes ago, Darth-Baiter said:

all well and good on paper.  but reality?  no way.

 

i cant get people to NOT come to work with a cold or flu.   self-awareness is not a thing.  hahah.

 

Ha! 

 

If you're going to listen to others, you have to be humble. I know so many people who believe with no evidence that they know best about everything. They have access to true expertise, but they won't tap it because of their unfounded hubris. 

To wander a bit from the subject. I’ve noticed my parking straight skills are getting off a bit. I get out of the car/truck and see I’m not quite straight on between the lines, even if I backup and try again. At 68 I can already feel the day coming, time to let my wife do more of the driving.
 

I also can’t see at night, that really bothers me.

 

I’m going to have to refer my kids to this thread, after I delete my post.

 

 

My people don’t live long enough to encounter this issue. My grandma was close but she never once drove a car as long as she lived 

3 hours ago, padlin said:

To wander a bit from the subject. I’ve noticed my parking straight skills are getting off a bit. I get out of the car/truck and see I’m not quite straight on between the lines, even if I backup and try again. At 68 I can already feel the day coming, time to let my wife do more of the driving.
 

I also can’t see at night, that really bothers me.

 

I’m going to have to refer my kids to this thread, after I delete my post.

 

 

you bring up a great point.

 

the other day i was backing into a tight spot.  had to back in to allow the charger cord to reach the back.  i was doing it old school, using my side rearview mirrors, lining everything up.  i nail it of course.

 

i had young engineers stop to watch me.  i get out and they asked me why i dont use the backup camera.  hahahha...   i like having options.  i'm cool like old school. 

1 hour ago, Darth-Baiter said:

you bring up a great point.

 

the other day i was backing into a tight spot.  had to back in to allow the charger cord to reach the back.  i was doing it old school, using my side rearview mirrors, lining everything up.  i nail it of course.

 

i had young engineers stop to watch me.  i get out and they asked me why i dont use the backup camera.  hahahha...   i like having options.  i'm cool like old school. 

The only time I even think about using a mirror is to see how close I am to something, I too grew up with mirrors, old dog, old trick.

10 hours ago, Darth-Baiter said:

all well and good on paper.  but reality?  no way.

 

i cant get people to NOT come to work with a cold or flu.   self-awareness is not a thing.  hahah.

Semi off topic but I could tie it in to having to take off from work to drive parents around...

 

Are they coming to work sick because they are not self aware or because they would have to use PTO when they are sick? If it's the latter then I totally get it. Not saying it's right but I get it. Only so much PTO to go around...

Update: whelp, the problem has resolved itself.

 

Family stepped up and got Dad to the places he wants and needs to go. And we got him using the Uber app for some other rides.

 

A few weeks ago our insurance agent called and said Dad cancelled his insurance policy. She wanted to know if he was done driving, should we keep the policy active? 

 

Nope, he's done.

 

His words, "This Uber thing is pretty cool...if i'm getting a ride back to the house...they will stop at DQ and I can get an ice-cream cone." He was giddy.

 

So now we are tackling the issues of Dad living in his house alone as his knees are getting worse, and the stairs are not his friend.

 

I've begun discussions with a placement agent to see how that all works (independent living, assisted living, etc.).

Been a steady decline for Dad. We are moving him to assisted living next Tuesday.

 

Did all the tours, meetings, walk throughs, etc. He's pretty happy with this facility...he got the last 2 bed, 2 bath room in the place. It's near my sister, brother and me. 

 

Dad wisely purchased a long-term care insurance policy 25 years ago. He will be well taken care of. Smart man!

 

It's tough watching Dad steadily decline like this. His balance is bad, memory is fleeting, very hard time getting in and out of chairs and bed. Does have a lift chair (recliner). That helps a lot. 

 

Excited to him to be around more people his age...he's been living alone since mom passed 13 years ago. Did have a couple of girlfriends...but the last broke up 9 months ago.

 

It's the circle of life...