At last....someone in this world has done some very valid and very valuable research on the human condition!

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ISH - 49

Adventurous - Slept with everyone

Athletic - Flat chest

Average looking - Ugly

Beautiful - Pathological liar

Contagious smile - Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure - On medication

Feminist - Fat

Free spirit - Junkie

Friendship first - Former very friendly person

Fun - Annoying

New age - Body hair in the wrong places

Open minded - Desperate

Outgoing - Loud and embarrassing

Passionate - Sloppy drunk

Professional - pregnant dog

Voluptuous - Very fat

Large frame - Hugely fat

Wants soul mate - Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

We need = I want

I am sorry = You'll be sorry

We need to talk = You're in trouble

Sure go head = You better not

Do what you want = You will pay for this later

I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

I am hungry = I am hungry

I am sleepy = I am sleepy

I am tired = I am tired

Nice dress = Nice cleavage

I love you = let's have sex now

I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

Can I take you to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

And finally

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However when she is menstruating she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

__________________

;D ;D

hahahah these are good!

Those would be hilarious............if they weren't the truth.

I am printing this and posting it on my wifes dresser.....

I am printing this and posting it on my wifes dresser.....

You must like a cold shoulder.

I am printing this and posting it on my wifes dresser.....

LOL,  I emailed it to the girlfriend for conformation.  After this afternoon if I never make another post, its not that I dont like the board it probably because of the last paragraph. LOL

;D ;D

Good Stuff.

But ~ Professional = pregnant dog ?

I don't get it ?

A-Jay

BR automatic screening...Rhymes with "witch".

:

BR automatic screening...Rhymes with "witch".

:

;D

I am printing this and posting it on my wifes dresser.....

LOL, I emailed it to the girlfriend for conformation. After this afternoon if I never make another post, its not that I dont like the board it probably because of the last paragraph. LOL

LMAO!!!

yeah i'm with rhino. if it werent true, it'd be funny. but still funny, good one ;D

yeah i'm with rhino. if it werent true, it'd be funny. but still funny, good one ;D

It's funny because its true.

I am printing this and posting it on my wifes dresser.....

Now that 's what I call a man with big balls and/or low self esteem for his hide.

Add this to the woman's dictionary for personal ads:

"Looking for soulmate" = Looking for cellmate

BR automatic screening...Rhymes with "witch".

:

Thank you

A-Jay