The beatings will continue until moral improves.

8-)

"buzzards gotta eat, too".

"I have done so much with so little, i can do almost anything with nothing"

"GET THE NET"!!!!!!!!!!!!!

'It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're flyin' with a bunch of goonie birds.'

"OHHHHHHHH, That's gonna leave a mark"

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you always got  

she's fine as your hair

"You can't make a silk purse out of a Sow's Ear"  

( My mothers favorite saying about the women in my life) : ;D ;D

Spread cheeks remove head!

Sticks out like a turd in a punch bowl

"If you ain't first, your last"

"If you ain't first, your last"

The way I have always heard this one is:

"Second place is the first loser!"

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results.

My dad's favorite saying is:

"Don't be an a$$"

Lou Holtz' Philosophy on Marriage- There is no way out so work it out!

"There are no stupid questions, only stupid people" (I think someone has this in their signature)...

Also, "You can always justify putting off a decision, but you can't put off the results of indecision"

Let's make like a fetus, and head out.

The world is full of stupid people, and I think I might be one of them.

Hey [insert name]!  Yer momma!

Good, and you? (before someone gets a chance to say anything at all)

"I resemble that remark!" or

"I do what the voices in my head tell me to do."

"I'm from (insert town name here) and I like to party"

It is what it is

Sh** happens

That broke easy

"Thats why God gave you two ears and only one mouth"

I know you heard what you think I said, but what you heard is not what I said.

Life is like a box of chocolates...you never know what you're gonna get.

Stupid is as stupid does!

bobs your uncle.

You can't make a race horse out of a mule.

                 T

If you want sympathy look in the dictionary between sh t and syphyllis.