"If I had asked what the people wanted, they'd have said a faster horse". Henry Ford

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

None can love freedom heartily but good men; the rest love not freedom, but license. John Milton

> Time is a Great healer, but one Lousy beautician

 

Roger

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

Gandalf

_{"You can buy those ? " Jake on Two and One Half Men}

 

_{"You can`t stand the truth"}

 

_{"Go ahead,make my day"}

"That's what she said" Michael Scott

"Hey Whitey, where's your hat" - Al Czervik

I was thinking the same thing.

"You wanna earn 14 dollars the hard way?"

"What time you due back in Boys Town?"

 I was the Best Man at her wedding, so why is she marrying him?

I've cut this board twice and it's still to short!

Unknown..

"To really live, you must almost die" Viet Nam '69. "Life is a vacation in eternity" Me in my ( I am totally untouchable post VN years) until I married, had 3 kids and realized that (whoops) work, family and home is where it's at. Life ain't a *****, it's a beach.

You can't look for the end unless you find the beginning.

~ "According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy." - Jerry Seinfeld

 

~ "I have a friend. He keeps trying to convince me he's a compulsive liar, but I don't believe him." - Ben Bailey

 

~ "The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. -Jay Leno

There is nothing like marriage if you marry the right woman, and if you marry the wrong woman, there's nothing like marriage. - What my old boss told me the day before I got married.

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple bill payments.

 

Steven Wright

 

I want to go to Washington, if only to be near my money. 

 

Bob Hope

Our team has one common goal, to keep my job. Lou Holtz

Trust me.  Han Solo. Star Wars.

 

Gossip is like a pile of manure.  The more you stir it, the worse it stinks.   My dad.  Don't know where he got it.

 

Why is it that you always find something in the last place you look?  Unknown (to me)

"If you think healthcare is expensive now, wait till you see what it costs when it's free."  - PJ O'Rourke

 

"Everyone will have an opinion, it doesn't matter whether it's right or not."  - Good friend

 

"Opinions are like a-holes, everyone has one and, quite frankly, most of them stink."  - Another good friend

 

"If you think time files at your age, wait till you get my age (I'm 36, he's 72)"  - My dad

 

"Socialism is for the people, not the socialist." - Andrew Wilkow

Keep you pecker in your pants-Mom

A rude person would say you are the only male she ever said that to...

"There are more horses a$$es then there are horses."

A rude person would say you are the only male she ever said that to...

It's a good thing you're not a rude person

It's a good thing you're not a rude person

Easy boys.. That was a good one though.

"I'm here so I won't get fined"

Easy boys.. That was a good one though.

No need to worry about me. Glenn pays me big bucks to keep his mods on their toes.